Green Party Puts The Call Out For New Members Who Can Actually Control Themselves
NORMAL PEOPLE WANTED.
The NZ Greens are doing a succession planning exercise this week, where they are attempting to get reasonable people to become members of their party.
Greens Relieved Julie Anne Genter At Least Hasn’t Been Done For Shoplifting
LOOKING ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.
With the recent parliament outburst of Greens MP Julie Anne Genter, and subsequent accounts of her bullying a florist about car parks, it’s fair to say it’s been a shit of a week for Greens co-leaders Chloe and Marama.
Punters Around The Globe Flocking To Get Hands On Lucky Black Flaps Sunhat
MANIFEST A MILLI.
With Tim Naki reaching his goal of making a million dollars in online blackjack on Day 83 of his “Manifest a Milli” campaign, gambling enthusiasts around the globe all have their eyes on obtaining one particular item of clothing.
Local Teenager Enjoying Phone Ban After Playing Handball For The First Time
SKILL OVER SNAPCHATS
15 year old Jake Billingsley has been forced out of his comfort zone this week, and has taken up the challenge of the once universally-played sport of handball.
Goodshirt’s Music Video For Sophie Still The Most Engaging Content Of All Time
SO SWEET SO FINE.
It may just be a single camera shot, but the video for the song “Sophie” by New Zealand band Goodshirt, still remains to be the most engaging thing ever made.
Polling Shows Surge In Support For Tim Naki As Preferred Prime Minister
HOUSE OF CARDS.
Tonight’s 1News Verian Poll has shown a jump in support for Tim Naki, a man who the New Zealand public now rates as one of the top people they want as Prime Minister.
Club Rugby Team Forced to Adapt to Player’s “Fashionably Late” Style
“HOW FAR AWAY ARE YOU MATE?”
Tim Coles, 27, has never been good with time management.
39-0 Win: Crusaders Fans Now Eyeing Up Title Winning Victory Parade
IT’S COMING HOME.
Crusaders fans may just be getting ahead of themselves after their team’s comprehensive win last night.
Hurricanes Fan Feeling Morally Virtuous After Sending Supportive Message To Crusaders Facebook Page
SO HUMBLE.
Campbell Taylor, a die-hard Hurricanes fan notorious for his ‘our year’ claims, has outdone himself by leaving what he describes as a “genuinely supportive” message on the Crusaders’ Facebook page.
Local Man Seesaws Between “Our Year” And “Typical Farrkin Warriors”
ROLLERCOASTER OF EMOTION.
Psychologically battered Auckland man TJ Warrington has been following the Warriors his whole life.
