Chlöe Made To Drag Her Desk Outside And Stop Disrupting The Class
DETENTION!
Nicola Willis In Charge Of Redesigning National Party Logo To Better Represent Priorities
ARTS AND CRAFTS.
Swarbrick Kicked Out Of Parliament For The Week Now Has No Excuse For Not Washing Team Kit
SILVER LININGS.
Polling Shows Surge In Support For Snackachangi Chip Guy As Preferred Prime Minister
MAN OF THE PEOPLE.
Fully Domesticated Man Has No Recollection Of Ever Washing Sheets While Single And Flatting
MUST HAVE AT SOME POINT?
MO’UNGA RETURNS: One Eyed Cantab In Hospital After Falling Off Chair In Excitement
RETURN OF THE KING.
Prime Minister Replaces NCEA Food Tech With High-Pressure Speed Cooking Exam
NEED FOR SPEED.
Revolutionary New School Exams Will Give Students Scores Based On Their Performance
WILD CONCEPT.
Essential TV Programme That Everyone Watches Thankfully Saved By Taxpayers
PHEW, THAT WAS CLOSE.
Hungover Waste Of Space Consumes 12 Mini Sausage Rolls At Nephew’s 3rd Birthday Party
MMM, HOW GOOD.
