Bloke Preemptively Sends Reassuring Text To Missus Ahead Of Boys Weekend

woman looking at phone and smiling with lads weekend happening in the background.

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture 

SAYS HE’LL TAKE IT EASY

Matt Holland believes he has put himself ahead of the game this weekend, after sending his girlfriend Ellie a text message with the skill of a seasoned diplomat.

The 31 year-old from Christchurch had only hours ago landed in Auckland ahead of a boys weekend with his good mates Braden and Dan, but had not yet heard from Ellie.

“If I leave it any longer, I’ll get a text like ‘Hi Matt, hope you boys have fun! Please take it easy will you?’, which will annoy me,” he said shrewdly. 

To take control of the situation, and stamp out trouble before it begins, Holland sent the following through to his better half:  “Hi my love! Just dropped bags off at the hotel and about to have a look around the city. Good to see the guys, they’re pretty relaxed so we’ll just get some dinner and then take it pretty easy. See you in a couple of days.” 

This was of course not reflecting reality as the three of them were already at the Viaduct and had consumed a frightening amount of high percentage craft beer. The next step would of course be finding a sports bar to watch the Warriors.

Back home, Ellie received this message with a mix of scepticism and appreciation. She knew “taking it easy” during a boys weekend meant “we’ll see how many pints we can down before we get kicked out”. 

She was concerned that they would in fact eat no dinner at all, but still couldn’t help but appreciate Matt’s valiant effort to ease her concerns.  

Before our reporters could question the three stooges, one of them had a grand idea for later in the evening.

“Oh, Cass after the Warriors??”

More to come. 

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