GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture
EVOLVED TASTES
Christchurch man Jason Miller, 36, has confirmed he can no longer “just grab a box” after developing what mates describe as “a fully unnecessary relationship with craft beer”.
Friends say Miller was once known for drinking whatever was cheapest, coldest and closest during his twenties, including Cody’s, Double Browns and VBs from the dairy.
But sometime around 2021, Miller reportedly began using phrases like “a bit more sessionable” and “I’m after something interesting tonight”.
“He used to drink anything,” said longtime mate Aaron Peters.
“Now he stands in front of the craft beer fridge at New World like he’s deciding which university he wants go to.”
Miller denies he’s become difficult, insisting his tastes have simply “evolved a bit”.
“You just get older don’t you,” he explained while holding two different Behemoth four-packs at chest height for comparison.
“You start appreciating quality more. I’m not saying I’m above a standard lager. I just think if I’m gonna drink six beers on the couch while watching YouTube, they may as well have some personality.”
Witnesses say supermarket trips with Miller now take significantly longer than necessary, with the 36-year-old often quietly reading the sides of cans before making a vibe-based decision.
“There’s a lot going on in the beer scene now,” Miller said.
“You’ve got your hazies, your West Coasts, your roasted stouts, your APAs. It’s honestly a good time to be curious.”
Flatmates report Miller also recently began refrigerating specific beers separately “for optimal drinking windows”, despite still consuming them while wearing his same old trackpants with the stain on the front.
“He talks about flavour profiles heaps now,” said flatmate Chris Hall.
“But at the end of the day he’s still sitting there eating chicken tenders and watching UFC highlights on his phone.”
Miller was allegedly last seen spending $22.99 on six cans because “they looked pretty decent actually”.
More to come.
