GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics
“UNSUITABLE BEHAVIOUR!”
Chris “Chippy” Hipkins’ blood pressure reached new heights this morning. That’s because his parliament carpool buddy David Seymour arrived at his house in the same old land rover he’d tried to drive up the parliament steps earlier this week.
Hipkins, who was late for work already, had no option but to get into the crotchety vehicle that definitely hasn’t passed its warrant in many years.
“This is totally unbefitting of a member of parliament, let alone a minister. Absolutely disgraceful!” he said as the four wheel drive shook him violently due to a lack of suspension.
As the former prime minister attempted to take a sip from his 600 mL coke bottle during the ride, the car predictably hit one of Wellington’s numerous potholes, causing a fizzy mess all over his grey dress pants.
“Oh for god’s sake David!” he squealed as he began trying to dab his crotch dry with a copy of some cabinet paper.
Hipkins had already called for Seymour to be sacked this week for the parliament steps stunt and a letter Seymour wrote to police in support of Phil Polkinghorne.
For the Labour leader, who was already thoroughly fed up with Seymour due to all the media attention he’d had this week, this car pool pick-up was apparently the last straw.
“I thought we could put politics aside for the carpool, and reduce some of Wellington’s traffic congestion. But then he goes and turns up in that stupid land rover again!
“He must be sacked!”
Seymour meanwhile could not answer questions while driving, as he was concentrating on stopping the car for photo ops he had strategically placed at several sets of traffic lights.
More to come.
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