KASSIE MACKAY | Culture
WHAT A HEADACHE!
As the nation prepares for an absolute rager this New Year’s, there is widespread public concern that enduring Christmas hangovers could be set to spoil the fun. The Whakataki Times spoke to locals, to get their take on this issue of national significance.
“The most pressing concern for all of us at the moment is a local shortage of Powerade,” lamented Whakataki Business Association Chair, Garrett Veitch.
The influx of holiday-makers to Whakataki this season had proved a boon for local bottle shops and campgrounds, Veitch explained, “but our local dairies and Four Squares have struggled to meet the need for blue energy drinks.”
Veitch predicted the shortage would be felt most acutely at the Whakataki Coastal Cabins, but millennial party-goers staying at the campground were largely unconcerned.
“Mate, we’re just drinking straight through,” announced one man who was sunbathing on the roof of his accommodation, Corona in hand.
“I’ve been drunk since December 1st,” slurred one topless camper.
Veitch, on the other hand, excused himself from the interview early, citing a “light headache.”
More to come.
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