GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Local
NO WAY!
A new report released by the Wellington Public Servants Association Of Wellington (WPSAW), has confirmed what many have feared.
WPSAW’s Laura Jamieson (she/her) has confirmed that when compared to travelling into the capital, 90% of Wellington public servants actually prefer the sensation of comfortably logging into their work computers from home.
“The numbers don’t lie unfortunately,” said the 30 year old as she sipped coffee from her trendy keep cup (made by herself at home and not a Wellington small business owner).
“It turns out that it is very, very convenient to not spend up to two hours a day travelling to and from work. Who knew!”
A separate report on business closures in the CBD says that 50 shops in Wellington’s “Golden Mile” are currently vacant, blamed largely on public sector job cuts and the “WFH” phenonmenon. Multiple media sources have described the city as “dead” or “dying”.
“The other problem is, once your favourite coffee cart shuts down for good, there’s even less incentive to come into the office. So with barista-made coffee being a major motivator for the average Wellington public servant, a bit of a vicious cycle is emerging,” Jamieson said while fiddling with her rainbow lanyard.
Hamish Waldorf, 35, logged into Microsoft Teams from home to talk about his experience of not travelling into Wellington.
“Just so much easier, and my work is actually better off because I can log in earlier than I normally could. I get way more work done!” he lied.
“Best thing about working from home though is that you don’t have to physically be in Wellington,” laughed Waldorf, looking out the window of his Upper Hutt home, where the weather always seems to be nicer.
WPSAW have made no efforts to encourage more people to try and revive the city, uncharacteristically saying that this is something for the “free market” to solve.
More to come.
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