GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture
GET WITH THE TIMES
The Catholic Church has once again revealed its deep-rooted bias by selecting yet another Pope who isn’t from New Zealand. Shocking. But not surprising.
The newly elected Pope, Leo XIV (some guy from America), becomes the 267th consecutive Pope to not hail from Aotearoa — a snub that many are calling “systemic” and “literally violence.”
“Once again, the Vatican has shown it values the voices of rich, powerful nations over diverse, small, righteous ones like ours,” said Wellington progressive Gemma Harlow. “It’s like they’ve never even watched Lord of the Rings.”
New Zealand Catholics say they’re devastated by the news. “I just feel erased,” said one man outside a Hamilton church. “What’s the point of all this praying if the Vatican doesn’t even notice?”
Critics say the election of an American Pope is a step backward for representation, equality, and basic geographical fairness. “You’d think after 2,000 years they could manage just one Kiwi,” said Harlow, furiously updating her Change.org petition titled ‘Papal Equity Now’.
The Vatican defended its decision, saying the new Pope had “experience, theological knowledge, and a deep sense of calling.” But activists aren’t having it.
“This isn’t about religion. This is about lived experience. And our lived experience tells us that the College of Cardinals needs to diversify or disband,” Harlow said.
The group is now calling for a full audit of all previous Popes, pointing out that most have been white men, none have been Māori, and not a single one has even visited Weta Workshop.
More to come.
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