FINALLY: Michael Wood Resigns After Being Asked For The 12th Time

Michael Wood holding paper outside parliament



It’s been a busy few years for poor old Michael Wood. There’s been lots of important things on, and lots of little bits and pieces that tend to end up getting forgotten. That’s even when there’s been 12 reminders to do them. 

Last month it was revealed that Mr Wood had been asked 12 times to sell off his Auckland Airport shares over the space of two years. With the news coming from Prime Minister Chippy Hipkins today that Wood had in fact resigned, it has now been revealed that he had been asked twelve times to do so. 

Wood claims to have been “really busy”, and resigning was just one of those things he was getting round to. “I’ve just had a lot on lately. I keep meaning to resign, but I’ve just been really busy.

“I know it sounds crazy because people keep asking me and asking me to do these things, and I just always manage to get sidetracked, haha,” said the apparently corrupt former minister.

Wood was unable to pinpoint why he had to be asked so many times to do anything. “Ha it always seems to be 12 times with me doesn’t it? There’s something about being asked for a twelfth time to do a simple task that really makes you take action!”

On Lambton Quay this afternoon, reactions have been mixed about the shock revelation that Wood had multiple conflicts of interest that he lied about to the Prime Minister.

“Oh it’s such a shame, he was such a good minister,” said Kate, 48, public servant. 

“Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy, a real shame. The processes weren’t clear, and poor old Michael got caught out,” says Olivia, 40, public servant. 

Not everyone on Lambton today was as sympathetic, like Dave, 67, retired. “I’ve never liked the man. He’s got an untrustworthy face. Crooked as the day is long.” 

A parliament insider has said they sincerely hope that Wood clears out his desk in a timely fashion, without having to be asked 12 times.   

More to come. 

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