Grade Cricketer Unforthcoming About How He Actually Went Today

Batsmen getting bowled out



Jake Macaskill, 31, could almost land a role as a Hollywood actor following the performance he gave to his mates post-match, at a house party.

The third grade cricketer for Eastern Suburbs claimed that he ‘went alright’, when he was questioned how he himself and his team got on in their match against Johnsonville Cricket Club today.

Our reporters were present at a gathering at a Kilbirnie flat, where Jake and some mates kicked off their Saturday drinks.

“How’d you go today Jake?” asked Duncan Parkin, a friend who has known Macaskill since high school.

“Oh not bad, went okay against Johnsonville. They aren’t too bad this year,” lied Jake, whose team was rolled for 72 in the 24th over chasing 277, meaning he was at the drinks significantly earlier than expected.

“Nah, like so how’d you go yourself mate?” quizzed Parkin knowing that Jake was definitely withholding information about his own personal performance, otherwise he would have mentioned it without asking.

“Yeah not so bad, happy with how I bowled and also good to get a dig with that bat too,” Macaskill said, failing to reveal he was pulled from the bowling attack after being hit for 23 off his two overs, and also got a second ball duck during the run chase.

“So what, did you get any runs or wickets?” Parkin questioned as he began to get more impatient with Jake’s answers.

“Oh nah no wickets, but bowled okay in the overs I got to bowl. Probably could have played a better shot though,” Macaskill lied again, not wanting to reveal the true extent of his performance and effectively wasting another Saturday.

Macaskill’s undoing eventually came when teammate and club captain ‘AJ’ came steaming into the flat.

“Bloody hell Jake! At least get your eye in before playing a shot like that. You’ll be batting no.11 next week.”

More to come.

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