Grandad Just Doesn’t Get The Bloody Weird Kids Names These Days

grandfather looking off into distance

ALEX HICKEY | Lifestyle


Brian Thomas’ fourth grandchild might be the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Thomas’ daughter Kimberley gave birth to her second son, Xaidyn, last week, joining older brother Jayzin.

Brian’s son Jed also has two children, with three year old daughter Luxury and one year old son Kanan.

A big family man who’s usually kind and patient, Thomas admits he’s struggling to get his head around his grandchildren’s names.

“They’re great kids, but what the hell is going on?,” he asked, exasperated.

“It’s like some big competition to fit in as many Xs and Zs into names these days. Parents have lost the plot. No wonder there are all these ram raids..

“What was so wrong with names like John and Mary? Why do we need to go inventing names? There’s plenty of perfectly good names out there without making up new weird ones.

His wife, Joy, has taken a more politically correct position, refusing to say what she thinks of her grandchildren’s names.

“All I’ll say is they’re lovely children and we’re very proud of them,” she said, after taking time to carefully phrase her response.

At this point, it was all getting a bit too much for Brian.

“Next they’ll be choosing their own genders or identifying as a bloody cat or something. God almighty, my grandfather would be rolling over in his grave.”

More to come. 

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