GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture
TOTAL QUACKDOWN
A Lower Hutt grandmother has confirmed that a simple afternoon at the duck pond has become “bloody complicated” after learning she is no longer allowed to feed bread to ducks.
Margaret Wilson, 67, said she arrived at the local park armed with a standard white bread loaf only to be informed by her eight year old granddaughter that bread is “actually harmful”.
“She just looked at me and said, ‘Nan, that’s actually really bad for them,’” Wilson said. “Since when did ducks become gluten free?”
Wilson confirmed she was then advised that rolled oats are the preferred option.
“Rolled oats,” she repeated. “Who are these precious ducks on bloody wellness journeys?”
The grandmother admitted she felt blindsided by the development.
“We’ve been feeding ducks bread for generations. Ducks are fine. They’re all still quacking. Who’s complaining to the council about this stuff?”
A nearby parent, who declined to be named but described herself as “very across environmental stuff,” said it was about education.
“It’s just about making better choices for wildlife,” she said, holding a reusable container of organic oats. “Bread fills them up but doesn’t give them any nutrients.”
Wilson said she supports healthy ducks but questions how far things will go.
“Next thing they’ll be telling me the ducks on a strict ketogenic diet.”
Wilson was last seen reluctantly sprinkling oats while the ducks appeared largely indifferent, continuing to eat whatever landed closest to their beaks.
More to come.
