ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture
FRESH START
Gabrielle Shaw, a 26-year-old Wellington woman, awoke this morning to the cruel reality of blinding sunlight combined with haunting flashbacks of a night on Courtenay Place.
Despite her best intentions to be home by midnight, Shaw somehow found herself still shouting the lyrics to “Mr. Brightside” at 3:30am before grabbing a regrettable McDonald’s cheeseburger combo on her way home alone.
Armed with a lavender-scented candle purchased during a fleeting self-care phase, Shaw proceeded to scrub, mop, and disinfect every inch of her one-bedroom flat
“It’s not guilt-cleaning,” she insisted, as she aggressively wiped down her stovetop. “It’s…therapeutic,” she told our reporters .
“This is about getting ready for the week ahead and being on top of things,” lied Shaw, who is still an arts student at Massey University and has minimal classes to attend this week.
The lavender-scented candle, meanwhile, struggled to mask the overpowering stench of McDonald’s fries which were one of last night’s decisions still sitting half eaten on the couch. “The lavender’s working, I swear,” Shaw muttered to herself as she reorganized the fridge.
By midday, Shaw had cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed the living room, and was halfway through polishing the bathroom mirror when she collapsed onto the couch due to only a handful of hours sleep.
“Fresh floors, fresh start. Right. Can someone please take me to Maccas again?”
More to come.
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