ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture
EYE CANDY
Dave Nixon, 38, from Christchurch, has spent the better part of his Saturday afternoon pacing back and forth in his front yard.
“Just look at that, would ya?” Dave again said to no one in particular.
When approached for further comment, Dave initially offered nothing beyond his signature phrase. “Seriously, mate, just look. Go on, look! You won’t see better!”
After our reporters failed to get much out of Dave given he was just repeating the same phrases over and over, his wife Tessa spoke to us.
“He’s been out there for three hours now,” she sighed, leaning against the doorframe. “He won’t even come inside until the sun starts setting because he says the ‘golden hour’ makes the lawn look its best.” Tessa said, annoyed that her husband had also not done many other chores around the house that needed doing.
As the hours ticked by, Tessa grew increasingly irritated.
“He’s just procrastinating. He promised me he’d clean the gutters today, but apparently, the lawn needed ‘emergency attention.’”
“Every time I try to talk to him about the other things that need doing, he just says, ‘Tess, Tess, Tess, would ya just look at it for a second? Appreciate it.’ Like I haven’t seen the lawn a million times. It’s grass, Dave.”
More to come.
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