ALEX HICKEY | Culture
STOKED
A man of below average height has barely held it together after plucking a can from the very top shelf of his local Pak N Save.
Pakuranga insurance rep Zane O’Connell is often ribbed by his mates for his height. At 5 foot 5, he’s definitely on the short side, but perhaps not as much as his nickname “The Infant” would suggest.
“I’m ok with being short, but the cricket boys take it to the next level,” he says.
However, after this week’s visit to the supermarket, he now has some ammunition to counter all the stick he gets.
As he worked his way through his shopping list, Zane saw his preferred range of coconut cream was the highest shelf on the aisle. Without thinking, he reached up on his tippie toes and grabbed a can.
“I didn’t really think about it, but once I put the can in my trolley I realised what I’d done,” he reflects.
“I don’t know if I’ve ever had to reach something that high before, it was pretty cool.”
Craving some sort of recognition, Zane looked around to see if anyone had noticed his relatively unimpressive feat. The guy restocking the shelves next to him seemed busy, while the only other person nearby was a mother busy wrangling her two children.
Zane asked the mother if she needed any coconut cream herself, and if he could help to get her a can “from way up there at the top”. She didn’t.
“I know it’s not a huge deal, but it’s not nothing,” he says. “It would have been nice if one of the boys had been there to see it, just to shut them up for a while.”
In the days since, Zane has been seen measuring himself against the wall as well as measuring his wingspan. Tragically, he doesn’t appear to have grown at all.
He’s also eagerly tried to crowbar the story into casual conversation, but no one he’s mentioned it to so far has shown any sign of caring.
“I know I can reach the top shelf now, and that’s enough for me,” he says.
More to come.
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