Local Boozehound Half-Heartedly Registers For Dry July

Dry July profile picture next to same person very drunk.



Jayden Barnett, 26, was kidding nobody as he shared a link to his freshly created Dry July account on social media. 

‘Thought I’d support a great cause this July. Donate what you can.’ Barnett posted on his personal Facebook page.

However the likelihood that the regular pub-goer and work drinks enthusiast could go the entire month of July without a single drop of alcohol down his throat, casted doubt among some of his friends and co-workers who know him best.

“He can’t actually be serious can he? He can barely go a weekday without pressuring us to ‘just have one’ at our local watering hole,” explained scaffolder colleague Alex Simpson to the Whakataki Times reporters.

Longtime friend Sarah Whittaker explained her take on Barrnett’s post. “I wouldn’t even back him for a week, let alone the whole course of July. He actually thinks I’ll donate my money in the belief he will be completely sober for a full calendar month? I feel physically ill.” said Whittaker, who was clearly full of doubt.

But the man under fire had a different take on his odds of going 31 days alcohol free to raise money for those affected by cancer.

“When you look at what some people have to go through, me staying off the booze for only a month is the least I can do to show my support to this great cause,” said Barnett, who was blackout drunk each weekend and has likely never gone four days without a drink since he turned 18.

However Jayden will likely only end up disappointing his mother Kathy, who has already donated $50 and posted the following comment on his post.

“Well done Jayden, finally you’re showing some maturity in your life. Love Mum”

It remains to be seen whether Kathy will be full of disappointment in nine days time.

More to come.

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