GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture
RISKY BUSINESS
Wellington commuter Jared Cunningham, 34, was spotted recklessly sitting on the Hutt Valley line service to Wellington this morning, apparently letting no external content enter his consciousness at all.
Cunningham reportedly had “no phone out, no headphones, just his own thoughts,” according to multiple reports from concerned passengers. Some worry that the Upper Hutt man may have been forced to “ponder things independently”.
“I just hope he’s okay,” said 24 year old Sophie who watched the incident unfold from a relatively safe distance. “He was just sitting there, switching between staring down the aisle of the train and staring out the window.”
After taking a moment to compose herself, Sophie continued. “It would have been fine if he had some headphones or some air pods, but he just had nothing. What if he remembered something he regretted from a decade ago or if he started thinking about where he’s falling short in life?” she asked sympathetically.
“Why would anyone take a risk like that?”
21 year old Zade Walker was more candid in his assessment of the contentless commuter. “Yeah that guy was a maniac, I spotted him as soon as I got on the train and went straight back in the other direction into the next carriage. You can’t trust people like that, it’s just not worth the risk.”
Cunningham, who thankfully completed his commute without incident, claimed that he “just likes looking out the window”. Our reporters were on the scene to dig a little deeper.
“You just sit there and do nothing and it’s fine. Sometimes you have thoughts and it’s like listening to a podcast that creates itself in real time. It’s difficult to explain,” he explained in a disconcertingly calm manner.
“Sometimes you can even have a genuinely good idea come to you, which you could write down on paper if you wanted to.”
Cunningham declined multiple offers to speak with a psychologist following his ordeal.
More to come.
