Luxon On Cabinet Leaks: “Gee I Feel Rocked. It’s Been So Rocky. I’m Always Getting Rocked By Things”

Christopher Luxon with headlines about cabinet leaks



Prime Minister Christopher Luxon was visibly shaken this morning, apparently still recovering from having his world rocked last week.

Media reported that the government had been ‘rocked’ by a second cabinet leak in as many weeks. 

“Oh man, my world’s been totally turned upside down by this. Completely shook,” he said this morning. 

“What could possibly be worse than two cabinet leaks in two weeks? I thought being PM would be difficult, but it’s like I’m getting rocked by something new every day!”

While Luxon may look calm and collected for cameras most of the time, the two leaks of admin-focused information ahead of time has been enough to throw the new government into absolute chaos. 

“Gee you know that feeling when everything you thought you knew comes crashing down around you? That’s what this is like. This must be the rockiest start anyone’s ever had in a new job.”

According to the New Zealand Herald, Labour leader Chris Hipkins said “the leak showed the new government was leaky”.

Luxon says he’s not sure how much more turmoil he can handle, claiming that he’s ‘always getting rocked by things.’

“Nothing worse than a rocky start is there? Labour’s cabinet never leaked anything. I never heard any reports of their stuff getting leaked. If it was being leaked it would have been reported. 

“Gee I feel rocked.”

More to come. 

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