GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics
STRANGELY FAMILIAR
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon is reportedly “pulled out the big guns”, after more disappointing poll results this last week. He believes that his “pale, stale and male” label is the one major thing holding National back at the moment.
“Sometimes it’s the surface level things that need to be freshened up,” he told reporters, who were mostly interested in concocting some kind of behind-the-scenes leadership challenge. “This new look I’ve put together is fresh and fun, but also has that exciting 2017-type vibe.”
Luxon said his makeover was not inspired by anything or anyone in particular, but that it is something “fresh and original” and “a little bit out there, sure”.
“Ha yes the hair is a lot, i know, but that’s sort of what you do in 2026. The androgynous look is very in, especially if you look at pop stars like Harry Styles”.
When pushed again on whether his new look was inspired by one particular political figure, who he may share most of his views with, Luxon stared blankly. “Ha, um, no, this is my own look and it expresses who I really am, and where I stand politically. And actually I reject the premise of the question.”
Luxon says he will continue to lead National towards getting the economy back on track, but that from now on he will be “leading with kindness”.
“If there’s one thing this world needs right now, it’s for people to be kind to each other. We all have the power to do that. But as prime minister, I feel like I have a different kind of power,” he said completely unironically.
Luxon then reiterated that he has “the full support of his caucus”, but would not comment on whether he had any job offers from any overseas universities.
More to come.
