Man Locks In Poor Saturday Athletic Performance By Having Spontaneously Big Friday

beers with crest-fallen football player on the ground.



Social footballer Ben Pullman has guaranteed himself a dreadful performance on Saturday, after a last minute decision to catch up with a mate after his normal work drinks.

Pullman regularly enjoys two or three refreshments with his office workmates on a Friday, and has had no major issues with past Saturday football games.

Today however, having already had three beers and now likely moving on to 4-5 more, Mr Pullman is setting the scene to hate himself at tomorrow’s 12.30 pm kickoff. Despite this, the Wellington-based weekend warrior from Palmy is in total denial about the situation.

“Oh nah it’ll be fine. Used to play hungover all the time back in uni!” he claimed, while neglecting the fact that uni was 10+ years ago.

“Will be good to catch up with Logan and I’ve already had a few staffies so should be good! We’re going to a new bar on Courtenay Place!” he exclaimed, obviously already forgetting about tomorrow’s fixture.

Pullman would not be drawn on the high likelihood that he will have a shit game on Saturday, due entirely to the hangover he was going to have. In fact, he claimed that it would be totally fine and that he often plays better while suffering the after effects of alcohol.

“I remember one game we had, back in uni, and everyone was sooo hungover and we won like 4-0! Such a funny game!”

Pullman’s friend Logan refused to comment, but did not seem overly concerned about tomorrow’s low-level, deeply social football match.

More to come.

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