GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Local
ALL THE TREATS BUT NO MAHI
25 year old Ryan Ellison flagrantly misled the public last Friday, as he used his red CityFitness gym bag as an overnight bag. This was despite not using the bag to actually carry his gym clothes in over three months.
The deceptive sales rep carried the bag from his flat in Palmerston North to the town square, where he was catching a bus to Hawks Bay. To the people of the Manawatu, Ellison looked as though he was a regular gym-goer, heading straight to CityFitness for a workout. Little did they know they were being lied to.
“He hasn’t been in three months? But he’s happily displaying that bag as if he’s been virtuously exercising and keeping himself healthy. Shameful,” said actual fitness enthusiast, Jordan Cowan.
“How can he even look at himself in the mirror after that? He’s lied to the public and he’s lied to himself.”
The bag itself allegedly contained a pair of jeans, shirt, undies, socks, laptop, phone charger and various bathroom paraphernalia. Not a shred of fitness gear to be seen.
The disgraced Ellison issued a typically dishonest statement on the matter, saying that it’s been “a wee while” since he last went to the gym, and that he’d “get back into it next week”.
He also claimed that he had “just been really busy with work lately”, which was another statement that didn’t even vaguely resemble the truth.
CityFitness would not comment on the bag situation, but did say that they were grateful for Ellison’s $6.99 weekly donation.
More to come.
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