GORDON LIGHTFOOT | National
FINDING MONEY IN WEIRD PLACES
Stuart “Stinky” Stevenson may have unwittingly discovered the best way to save money in today’s economic climate (and some say it’s even better than our government’s savings tips in their “Finding money in weird places” campaign).
While the campaign suggests people shorten their showers to save money on their electricity, Stevenson has allegedly saved thousands over the years by simply not showering at all.
“You’ve just gotta think about what’s essential, and what could be cut out,” he said wisely as he swatted a fly away from his face.
The 45 year old bachelor claims he has always had an aversion to water, and since losing his job in 2018 has not seen any reason at all to waste precious dollars on heated showers.
“The numbers just didn’t stack up. You’ve gotta think about the value proposition, and decide for yourself whether it is worth spending money on water (which is a free natural resource by the way). Not to mention the unnecessary cost of buying soap at the supermarket!”
Stevenson’s friend Gareth was unsurprised by the savings that his friend had been making. “Yeah I haven’t really talked to Stu that much since he lost his job. I hope he’s doing okay, sounds like he’s saving some money. I should go and see him more often but I just can’t handle the smell in his apartment.
“I’m glad he’s saving money on showers, but God he stinks!”.
Stevenson was tight-lipped about another cost saving scheme he has in the works. Apparently he is planning to save money on rent by moving out of his flat, and into his car.
More to come.