GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Sport
JUST CALL THE MATCH
North Shore retiree Ian Walgrave, 72, has given up on the possibility of watching the T20 Black Clash match with some normal, informed commentary.
The former arborist has watched the yearly match for the last five years and has consistently been annoyed by the commentary of the Alternative Commentary Collective, also known as the ACC.
“They’re just idiots. They don’t know what they’re talking about. How about some real cricket stats that haven’t been plucked from someone’s backside?
“Every year I write to the Broadcasting Standards Authority to complain about these degenerates, but it never seems to go anywhere,” said the confirmed ‘boomer’ as he poured himself his nightly glass of sav blanc.
This year however Mr Walgrave has decided that he is not going to be irritated by the commentators, and is going to enjoy the game for what it is.
“I’ve tried putting the TV on mute for cricket before but it’s not the same when you don’t get the on-field noise. I like the sound of leather on willow.
“So I’m just going to put up with these clowns this time round and try not to let them get to me. I’ve accepted that everything they say is a load of nonsense, and to not believe a word of it,” said Walgrave decisively.
The BSA is expecting yet another complaint from Mr Walgrave, despite his claim that he “can’t be bothered anymore”.
More to come.
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