ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Sport
CANNOT BE THE REAL WORLD
Craig Chamberlain of Shirley, a suburb of Christchurch, is convinced that the things he is experiencing cannot really be part of reality.
Chamberlain’s disbelief in the world around him comes after the defending champions went down 37-24 against the Waratahs in Melbourne last night, making it their second straight loss.
“We rarely lose rugby matches, let alone two in a row! The table says we are 10th and the Blues are 1st? What on earth is going on?” Chamberlain lambasted while frantically pacing around his home in disillusionment.
“There’s something wrong. There’s been a glitch in the simulation. I’m being presented with a world where the Crusaders have lost their first two matches of the season. This cannot be happening!” Chamberlain exclaimed, furrowing his brow as if trying to debug the virtual reality that had betrayed him.
Even to the casual observer it would be hard to fathom a world where the Crusaders are sitting near the bottom of the table with two losses and zero wins to their name. Making the reality more frightening, they now have an away trip to Fiji to play the Fijian Drua next week. A game which they lost last year.
“The Crusaders’ victories are as certain as the sunrise. If this matrix insists on depicting a world where the Crusaders stumble, then somebody needs to redraft the bloody code!
“Things are not as they seem. Wake up sheeple.”
More to come.
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