One Eyed Cantab Disappears From Society After Tenth Crusaders Loss

one eyed cantab in the desert



Diehard Crusaders fan Craig Chamberlain is unable to face a world where the Crusaders are no longer the unstoppable force they once were.

The 56 year-old from Shirley has vanished from society following the Crusaders’ crushing 31-24 defeat to the Brumbies, marking their tenth loss of the season.

This unprecedented streak of failure has effectively ruled the Crusaders out of the playoffs, with two rounds of Super Rugby remaining this season.

Our reporters discovered that Chamberlain has retreated into the desert, seeking refuge from a reality where his beloved team can no longer secure victories.

“Every corner, every pub, every conversation was about the Crusaders’ failures this season. I had to find a place where I could forget, at least for a little while,” Craig groaned, staring long into the distance.

“Instead of turning things around and improving their playoff chances after a shaky start, they’re just digging themselves deeper into a hole. With two rounds to go and the top-of-the-table Blues in Auckland next week, I’ve retreated here to avoid watching us hammer the final nail in our own coffin.”

Chamberlain elaborated on his choice of destination: “The desert seemed like the perfect place. It’s quiet, vast, and empty. Just me and my thoughts. Out here, I can scream into the void about the Crusaders’ losses, and no one will ever hear me.”

More to come. 

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