GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture
MAX EFFORT, MINIMAL IMPACT
Dave Harrison knows exactly how much effort went into crafting the monthly email from his Deputy Secretary today, but that didn’t stop him from doing the absolute bare minimum to read it.
The 40 year old “people manager” is deeply entrenched in the Wellington public service bureaucracy, and has a not-uncommonly jaded outlook. He’s been at the Department of Transport for three years (his “current gig”) and has no intention of changing his ways.
“Yes I saw the latest email from Greg. I had a quick read but it was great to see all the inspiring mahi going on at the ministry,” he lied with the confidence of a man who has not opened a PDF since 2021.
“Sounds like the new group strategy that’s about to go up for staff consultation is going to be a game changer,” he added pathologically, knowing full well the “new strategy” is a rehash of something they trialled ten years ago during his first stint at MoT.
Harrison has now developed the unique ability to predict what an email from SLT will say, despite never committing more than ten seconds to reading one. His confidence comes from knowing that everything he actually needs to know about his job arrives via a colleague leaning over and saying, “Hey mate, did you see the update?” to which he always confidently replies, “Yep.”
“Great to see my colleagues living the ministry’s values,” he said, while unable to list all those values from memory.
Meanwhile, senior communications advisor Laura Dolden was happy to finally get that meticulously crafted email across the line, but was dismayed about the impact it was having with staff.
“To be honest I didn’t even think that email was going to get sent this week, so I’m just relieved to have it off my plate,” she said, staring at the ceiling as if reconsidering her career choices in real time.
“Would just be nice if people spent a little bit more time reading these things, since they take a lot of time and FTE to put together,” she added, fully aware the median staff member only reads the first line and whatever is in bold.
Back at his desk, Harrison sighed and closed the email for good.
“If anything important comes from it, someone will tell me,” he said, reopening the Trademe real estate listings.
More to come.
