Public Servant Tacks On “Going Forward” To End Of Sentence To Increase Perceived Intelligence

man giving presentation



James Tilford, a Wellington-based middle manager, dazzled colleagues with his mastery of the spoken word at this morning’s leadership hui. 

The 45 year old was able to attach intelligent-sounding phrases to the end of sentences in such a way that elevated his professional standing to new heights. 

“When we capture these key data points, we will be able to add a lot more value for our customer, going forward,” he said to his adoring audience, who ignored the fact that saying ‘going forward’ added no extra detail or information to what had just been said. 

Not content with the soaring levels of esteem he had just garnered with that piece of verbal wizardry, the public servant doubled down with yet another devastating blow. 

“As we add more value to our product, we will be able to deliver the right outcomes to the people of Aotearoa, moving into the future.”

The men and women in the room smiled and nodded knowingly, not thinking about which other direction they could possibly be moving in, other than into the future. Were they somehow able to move into the past? Or perhaps stop time completely, freezing the world in suspended animation? 

After several questions and lots of discussion, the meeting was about to come to a close. Bill Williams, who had not spoken during the whole meeting, pulled out his go-to so that he could say that he had contributed.

“James, could you share those slides with us?”   

More to come.

Want to support the Whakataki Times? Head over to the support page and make a contribution. You can also follow us on Insta.

Enjoying the Whakataki Times and want to say thanks? Now you can! Use the form below to make a financial contribution to the team’s operating costs. 

How much do you reckon?

Up to you how much