Public Service Bureaucrat Secretly Fantasises About Being Made Redundant

man sitting at desk in office thinking about clearing out his desk with cardboard box



Public servant Peter (not his real name) has anonymously approached the Whakataki Times with an admission that may represent a widespread feeling among our taxpayer funded government staff.

He says that he has a deep, burning desire to be dramatically laid off from his job, claiming it would be a welcome reprieve from a daily existential conflict. 

“It would be an exciting prospect, you know? I could go and find a job somewhere else, maybe become part of a productive enterprise!” he said hopefully.  

Peter works as a comms advisor for the Ministry of Public Ministerialism (not the ministry’s real name). He believes that if the organisation he works for ceased to exist then most people in New Zealand would not notice. 

“Honestly, if no one turned up to work tomorrow it wouldn’t make much difference. Everyone’s just here doing stuff but there’s no real need for any of it,” he said while shaking his head.  

“Yesterday I spent the whole day getting an email draft signed off by ten different managers before it could eventually be sent to staff, who likely wouldn’t read it.

“And according to our intranet, the purpose of the Ministry is to ‘do the mahi to elevate Aotearoa for all New Zealanders’,” he said as his eyes rolled aggressively across the ceiling. 

Peter fantasised further about the idea of being fired from his job, seeing nothing but positives. “Ah, it’s funny isn’t it? Most people would worry about being fired from their job. But I would welcome it!

“Probably get paid out a few weeks salary, have a bit of time to relax on the couch. And then I could start looking at all the different jobs that I could do! The possibilities are endless!”

Despite all this, the public servant said that the likelihood of his redundancy was low, saying that his permanent position within the ministry was very safe. 

“Yeah sadly my dream of being fired is probably just that – a dream.” 

More to come. 

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