HOLLYWOOD HORROR: Rieko Ioane Set To Haunt Irish Dreams In Freddy Krueger Reboot
NIGHTMARE ON O’CONNELL STREET.
All Blacks centre Rieko Ioane has reportedly signed a deal with Newline Cinema to star in the latest instalment of the Freddy Krueger horror movie franchise.
England Player Facing Disciplinary Measures For Scoring Try Instead Of Kicking Drop Goal
GOING OFF SCRIPT.
In the wake of their nail-biting 24-22 defeat by the All Blacks at Twickenham, England’s coaching staff have quickly turned to serious internal matters.
Cranberries Song “Zombie” Experiences Sudden Spike In Spotify Plays
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Sport IN YOUR HEAD Former members of the Irish rock band, The Cranberries, were surprised to see an uptick in streams they were getting in New Zealand this week. Their song “Zombie” is connected to the spat between All Blacks centre/troll Rieko Ioane, and former Irish captain and current crybaby, Jonny Sexton. […]
Local Man Told You Barrett Should’ve Be Playing At 10 This Whole Time
“WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING?”
45-year-old Dave Garrett from Taranaki has confidently informed his mates, yet again, that Beauden Barrett should have been the All Blacks’ first-five all along.
Beauden Barrett Turns To Instagram Poll To Determine What Position He Should Play
HOT TOPIC.
All Blacks superstar Beauden Barrett has decided to let his Instagram followers across the world decide what position he should play for the remainder of this year’s international season.
McKenzie Blames Shot Clock For Missing Team Bus
TIME MANAGEMENT.
All Blacks goal kicker Damian McKenzie has been forced to apologise to his teammates for missing the bus from San Diego, following their match against Fiji. McKenzie had to make his own way to Los Angeles airport, a 210 km journey.
Razor May Be Replaced by Raygun if All Blacks Don’t Win Rugby Championship
HOO HEY RACHEL RAY.
Scott “Razor” Robertson might soon be ousted from his throne if performances don’t improve. His potential replacement? None other than Rachael “Raygun” Gunn, the most talked about breakdancer in the world.
All Blacks Forced To Watch Australian Woman Breakdance As Punishment For Losing
THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE.
All Blacks coach Scott “Razor” Robertson has taken an unorthodox approach to motivate his team after their shocking 38-30 loss to Argentina in Wellington last night.
Local Mum Interrupts All Blacks Game To Ask Husband And Son Whether Dan Carter’s Playing
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Sport Whakataki mother of three, Vicki Matthews has embarrassed herself over the weekend by demonstrating a complete lack of knowledge about New Zealand’s national game. “Ohhhh God Vicki!” Husband Daryl’s and son Michael’s heads dropped into their hands, as Vicki asked them whether Dan Carter, who hasn’t played for the All Blacks […]
