Local Man Plating Up His Gourmet Nachos Already Eaten Half The Corn Chips
LED TO TEMPTATION
“I’m My Own Man Now”: Local Bloke Enjoys Free To Air Cricket Without Tapping Into Parents’ SkyGo Account
INDEPENDENCE DAY.
33-year-old Matt Johnson has again found himself in a state of pure elation as he realised he wouldn’t have to beg, borrow, or steal access to his parents’ SkyGo account to watch the Blackcaps tonight.
‘I Was Just About to Do It!’ Claims Man After Failing To Do Basic Task After Fifth Time Being Asked
GETTING ROUND TO IT.
Lachlan O’Toole, a 34-year-old Christchurch man, has once again assured his partner, Joanna Kilmore, that he’s on the verge of putting the family tent away in the attic—despite days of inaction and at least five direct requests.
Woman’s Patience Wearing Thin After Boyfriend Puts Dirty Plate In Dishwasher With The Clean Dishes
“JAKE! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CALL THIS?”
Danielle Timmins’ blood was boiling this evening.
After a hectic day at the pre-school she worked at, the 29 year old came home early to make dinner for herself and her current boyfriend of two years, Jake Coombes.
“Man That Smells Good” – Local Man Cooks Onions And Accepts Outsized Compliments On Cooking Ability
LIVING A LIE.
Matt Smyth, 34, had previously avoided all responsibility at shared gatherings for years at his flat. But on Saturday night, at his flatmate Sarah’s birthday barbecue, everything changed.
Bloke In His Thirties Confirms Lynx Africa Still Does The Job
CORE OF HIS IDENTITY.
Luke Poole, 34, of Christchurch, has come forward to confirm that Lynx Africa, the iconic body spray of teenage bedrooms still packs enough punch to “get the job done.”
Five Years On And Man Still Can’t Bring Himself To Throw Out Box iPhone Came In
TOO GOOD TO THROW OUT.
Wellington local Doug Canderson, 31, has an eye for quality that is fast becoming a personal burden.
Man Forgoes Midnight Glass Of Water And Instead Slurps Like A Dog From Bathroom Tap
KIWI EFFICIENCY.
When Mike Higgins woke up with a dry mouth at 2.45 this morning, the idea of going downstairs to the kitchen for a glass of water didn’t hold much appeal.
Bloke Who’s Done Nothing But Sit On The Couch Watching Olympics Reckons He Could Make L.A In 2028
SURELY..
Will Baker, an armchair critic of epic proportions, believes that despite not competing in any form of competitive sport since high school, he could qualify for the Los Angeles summer games in 2028.
