Wellingtonian’s Social Credit Score Through The Roof After Debuting New Book Purchase On Train
A DIFFERENT KIND OF POWER.
Local Man Colonises Matariki Into Yet Another Long Weekend Of Piss Drinking
GROSSLY PROBLEMATIC.
Public Holiday Still Getting Misgendered In 2025 As “Queen’s Birthday”
DO BETTER.
Parliamentary Service Lad Remains Tight-Lipped About Which MPs Are Dickheads In Real Life
NOT WHO YOU’D EXPECT.
25-year-old James* (who, for reasons of his own, only goes by “James”) works as an advisor in our nation’s parliament. James recently shared with friends that he’s spent the last two years accumulating top-secret intel on the MPs he works with.
Wellington Commuters Enjoying Reduced Congestion Due To Less Jobs To Get To
SILVER LININGS.
Times are tough and people are hurting, but some fortunate Wellingtonians are looking on the bright side this morning.
Local Teen Helps With Teacher Shortage By Wagging School
ANYTHING TO SUPPORT THE EDUCATORS.
One conscientious kid is today patting herself on the back, having alleviated Aotearoa’s teacher shortage by skipping school altogether.
Career-Minded Public Servant All Over The Optional Lunchtime Waiata Practice
KEY PERFORMANCE INDICATOR.
Lauren McDonald has made a splash in front of key senior managers today. The policy advisor at the Ministry of Education clearly has her eyes on the prize, being the first one to turn up to the optional lunch time waiata practice.
Man Working From Home During Last Week Of Work Definitely Not Just Watching Cricket
ALL WORK NO PLAY.
Business analyst Jack Steele has a unique challenge this week – making it look like his focus is on the shared Word document he has open on his laptop instead of what is happening in the Blackcaps vs England test match in Hamilton.
Public Servant Lights Up Group Hui By Asking “Will These Slides Be Made Available Afterwards?”
INSTANT IMPACT.
Senior HR advisor Amy Dalton may have switched off halfway through this morning’s group hui, but that wasn’t going to stop her from making a massive impact late in the piece.
BACK IN THE OFFICE: Wellington Public Servant Spends First Hour At Desk Dusting Off Cobwebs
BEEN A WHILE.
Devon Chalmers, a senior digital advisor at the Ministry of Education, was surprised at the state of his office desk this morning, having not seen it in the last four years.