Aucklander Fraudulently Claims He’s “Not Like Other Aucklanders”
‘BACK IN AUCKLAND’
Wellington Eco-Activist Enters Spiral Of Self-Doubt After Accidentally Using Plastic Straw
SAVIOUR TO SINNER
“Middle Of The North Island” Easier Than Explaining Where The Hell Te Kūiti Is
TINY TOWN TROUBLES.
Local Man Colonises Matariki Into Yet Another Long Weekend Of Piss Drinking
GROSSLY PROBLEMATIC.
Uni Student Getting Straight A’s Despite Sub-Optimal Diet Of Mostly Two Minute Noodles
NOODLE KNOWLEDGE.
Public Holiday Still Getting Misgendered In 2025 As “Queen’s Birthday”
DO BETTER.
Public Servant Uses The Phrase “Living The Dream” As Shield Against Deep Feeling Of Dissatisfaction
ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE.
DO BETTER: Vatican Once Again Fails To Elect A Pope From New Zealand
GET WITH THE TIMES
Wellington Shoppers Rewarded With Gift Vouchers For Setting Foot In Johnsonville Mall
CONSUMER SACRIFICE.
Wellington Communion Service Swaps Red Wine For Limited Run Hazy IPA
And God said, Let there be light, citrus and refreshing IPA.
