Wellington Commuters Enjoying Reduced Congestion Due To Less Jobs To Get To
SILVER LININGS.
Times are tough and people are hurting, but some fortunate Wellingtonians are looking on the bright side this morning.
Wellingtonian Doesn’t Notice How Shit Summer’s Been Because For Him It Always Is
EVERYDAY’S A PUFFER JACKET DAY.
For most Kiwis, the summer of 2025 has been a washout.
Reports of torrential rain, howling winds, and barely a sliver of sunshine have dominated national headlines in New Zealand, with Cantabrians especially vocal about their disappointment.
Wellingtonian Shares His Spotify Wrapped Which Is Filled With Artists You’ve Never Heard Of
MAKING A POINT.
Alex Devlin, 27 from Wellington, took to social media today to proudly share his Spotify Wrapped results, which showcased a meticulously curated lineup of artists no one else seems to know.
Women Of Wellington Devastated To Find Out David Seymour Is Off The Market
HEARTBREAK KID.
The progressive-minded women of Wellington were blindsided this morning with the news that ACT party leader David Seymour has had a secret girlfriend for the last two years.
REINVIGORATING THE CAPITAL: Wellington Mayor Secretly Hoped Hikoi Would Turn Into Three Week Stay
ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY GUTTED.
Wellington Mayor Tory Whanau is reportedly heartbroken after the hikoi that swept through the capital this week wrapped up in a single day.
Seymour Set To Revitalise Wellington Hospo Industry By Attracting 30,000 Visitors To The Capital
FULL STEAM AHEAD!
ACT leader David Seymour is being cheered by Wellington cafe and bar owners today, as tomorrow’s hikoi into the city is likely to provide a much needed boost to small businesses.
Wellington Man Buys $19 Beer And Pretends Everything Is Fine
DAYLIGHT ROBBERY.
Shaun McHardy pretended not to feel emotionally gutted by the transaction he made today.
Tory Whanau Calculating How Many Cars She Needs To Sell To Avoid Government Intervention
TORY FROM TURNERS.
Wellington Mayor Tory Whanau has been working overtime today—not at City Hall, but at Turner’s Cars.
Car-Selling Expert Tory Whanau Rumoured To Replace Tina From Turners
TORY FROM TURNERS.
Instead of copping more flak over her recent media missteps, Wellington Mayor Tory Whanau has had some surprisingly good news – she’s reportedly in the running to replace Tina from Turners, New Zealand’s beloved spokesperson for Turners Car Auctions.
STRUGGLING ON $189K: Wellington Mayor Tory Whanau Regretting Her Attempt To Appear Relatable
IT’S ROUGH OUT THERE.
Tory Whanau gave her comms team an absolute bollocking today.
It appears that the key messages they supplied her ahead of a Newstalk ZB interview failed to tell her not to say she’s doing it tough on $189,000 a year.
