MORE THAN THE MOA: Peter Jackson Now Wants To Genetically Engineer Smaug The Dragon
NEEDS MORE DRAGONS.
Wellingtonian’s Social Credit Score Through The Roof After Debuting New Book Purchase On Train
A DIFFERENT KIND OF POWER.
New Zealand Determined To Start Incredibly Average Version Of Jurassic Park
MOA MADNESS.
Aucklander Fraudulently Claims He’s “Not Like Other Aucklanders”
‘BACK IN AUCKLAND’
Wellington Eco-Activist Enters Spiral Of Self-Doubt After Accidentally Using Plastic Straw
SAVIOUR TO SINNER
“Middle Of The North Island” Easier Than Explaining Where The Hell Te Kūiti Is
TINY TOWN TROUBLES.
Local Man Colonises Matariki Into Yet Another Long Weekend Of Piss Drinking
GROSSLY PROBLEMATIC.
Uni Student Getting Straight A’s Despite Sub-Optimal Diet Of Mostly Two Minute Noodles
NOODLE KNOWLEDGE.
Public Holiday Still Getting Misgendered In 2025 As “Queen’s Birthday”
DO BETTER.
DO BETTER: Vatican Once Again Fails To Elect A Pope From New Zealand
GET WITH THE TIMES
