ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Politics
BIG SHIFT UP FRONT
Donald Trump made a dramatic entrance at the Republican National Convention today, sporting a bandage on his ear that you would more often see on a hardworking front row forward than a presidential candidate.
Trump walked out to Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless The USA” to rapturous applause after his recent brush with death, where the United States Secret Service displayed a suspicious level of incompetence.
“Honestly, he looks like he’s just played 80 minutes,” said one amused delegate. “Looks like he needs a beer”.
Back in New Zealand, many are still reeling from the wild world news that they’ve been watching from afar.
“Crazy that someone was able to make an old school assassination attempt like this in 2024. Thought security these days would be way ahead of a ‘lone wolf outcast’. Trump looks like he’s got a cauliflower ear under there now,” joked one Aucklander.
“If Trump played rugby, he’d definitely be a front-rower. Where else would you put him? He’ll need that bandage up front.”
“Would’ve been good if he did the full tape around the head, 90s style. Probably would’ve messed up his hair though haha. The bandage was good though. Maybe it’s a nod to the All Blacks who play in San Diego this week,” said an enthused Christchurch resident.
More to come.
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