GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Local
HEY, SETTLE WILL YA?
Local misfit Vinny Pullman has made a scene at a Queen Street house party, after his long time crush Ursula Kraus rejected him after he claimed that they “belonged together”.
“Ursula! We belong together my darling, your people and my people are the same!” he was heard screaming after his third beer.
The Whakataki Times can confirm that Pullman and Kraus had had a long term relationship previously, however Ms Kraus says that relationship was completely toxic and is now “ancient history”.
“He was so controlling, I was walking around on egg shells, just really abusive and there’s no way I’m going back there”, said Kraus defiantly.
Party-goer Nathan Oldman, known by his friends as “Nate-O”, was visibly concerned about the whole thing. “Vinny’s always been a really weird guy but now I’m worried that he’s attempting to force Ursula to be his girlfriend again. Which is really not okay”.
“Also, he’s an idiot for being like this, because the shop he owns in town depends on his customers, and we’re all here at this party! Like, if he’s being a dick to Ursula, who we all love and think is awesome, then people are gonna stop buying stuff from him and he’ll go out of business.”
“Seriously, just calm down mate, move on..”, said Nate-O, shaking his head.
More to come.
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