Wellingtonian Shamed Mercilessly By Flatmates For The Crime Of Drinking Instant Coffee

man drinking coffee



Alex Dustow, a 19 year old originally from Taranaki, recently moved into a new flat in Wellington’s Aro Valley.

After being up bright and early most days for the year’s lectures in the opening semester, he was often out the door to Victoria University, well before his other hospo working flatmates would rise.

As Dustow had a rare afternoon lecture one morning, he was still floating around the flat when he unwittingly made a grave mistake. 

Our reporters were inside the flat watching the drama unfold.

“Hey guys, anyone want me to make them a coffee while I’m up?” Dustow said, opening up a jar of Nestle original instant coffee.

“Ummm, of that? Are you serious? Do you even know the art of sourcing the perfect coffee beans?” flatmate Grace Fowler asked, disgusted that anybody would dare suggest instant coffee as a hot drink in the coffee capital of New Zealand.

Dustow, who had no idea what the big deal was, proceeded to dig himself into a deeper hole.

“I only got it a couple of weeks ago from the supermarket, it’s fine,” Dustow said, failing to understand what the big deal was as he’d always drunk instant coffee most mornings and quite enjoyed it.

Dustow’s coffee of choice then became the topic of a further intense discussion with his other flatmate Jordan Wilkes.

‘I mean, yes Tim, you can make coffee at home. But at least take the time to grind these ethically sourced fair-trade coffee beans and put them in the plunger” Wilkes remarked smugly, knowing that plunger coffee would be as low as he would ever go.

As Tim started to defend himself by explaining that instant was quick, cheap and convenient, and gave him the much needed caffeine boost for the day, his flat mate Jordan gave one parting comment. 

“Start drinking or making real coffee mate. I’m off to Fidel’s.” 

More to come. 

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