GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Local
DAD’S IN A BAD MOOD
Lower Hutt father of three, Darren Donaldson was in a foul mood this morning, as today marks the third weekend in a row where he hasn’t been able to mow the lawns.
As the rain came down, Donaldson looked out his window and snarled at the hideous length the grass had reached. The number one priority for the 35 year old was running his self-employed plumbing and gasfitting business to put food on the table – but priority number two was keeping the lawns under control.
Donaldson was brooding in his kitchen with a strong coffee as he explained the situation. “Look at the state of it. That grass would almost be up to your ankles, and there’s not much I can do about it without turning it into a mud pit.
“Sure it’s looking green but why can’t it be green and tidy? The rain’s like a double-whammy. The more it rains, the more the grass grows, and the less I can mow it! God I hate Wellington winters,” he grumbled while slurping from his hot mug of Greg’s instant.
A child came running into the room whining about something his brother had done, but was quickly dispatched by the grumpy dad, who made it patently clear that now was not the time. “These kids need to get outside for a run around but the bloody rain just has to come on the weekend, doesn’t it..
“And they’re not going on my lawn in this weather, they can go down to the park and bugger up the council grass instead,” he said, while still remembering the horrendous council rates bill he had paid previously.
The fed-up father gave some interesting insights into why so many dads have such a laser-focused obsession with their lawns. “It’s not even that I care that much about grass to be honest. It’s more that it’s the only time I get to myself. The whole job only takes an hour and a half, but that time is mine.
“I chuck on the headphones and listen to some music or a podcast. Can listen to anything I want to, because I’m the only one listening to it” he said smugly, as if that were some kind of special privilege only he was able to enjoy.
“Maybe I’ll offer to do the grocery shop.”
More to come.