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Day: 1 November 2022

Local Bloke Once Again Walks Away From Melbourne Cup Wishing He Had A Time Machine

Man wincing with the 2022 Melbourne Cup winner in the background, along with a thought bubble with the Back to the Future movie in it.

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture BACK TO THE FUTURE After another soul-deadening Melbourne Cup, Hutt Valley mechanic Joel Rolleston has walked away with an empty wallet and the familiar wish that he could bend the laws of time and space.  “Farrk I wish I had a time machine ay. You just don’t really know which horses […]

REVEALED: Anti-Whipping Anti-Horseracing Activist Actually Enjoys A Bit Of Whipping Herself

Pink haired woman in front of horse that jockey is about to mount with whip

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture  NUP TO THE CUP, YIP TO THE WHIP Ruby Wareing has come clean today. It’s not that the 28 year-old said she’s onboard with the Melbourne Cup or anything. It is more that while she Tweets to her regular echo chamber about how she is anti whipping and anti-horse racing… she […]

DISCLAIMER: NZ satire and NZ comedy have a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news meme website, which means the stories and memes are made up for comedic effect.