ROSEMARY ABBOTT | National
MOA MADNESS
New Zealand has decided it’s finally time to open its own version of Jurassic Park, but with no dinosaurs and a much heavier focus on the recently extinct Moa bird.
Backed by Sir Peter Jackson, iwi Ngāi Tahu, Canterbury Museum and a US biotech firm, the project aims to bring back the extinct moa using preserved DNA and some light genetic tinkering.
Commentators have dubbed the idea “a classic case” of New Zealand doing a shit version of an overseas thing, in this case, a shit Jurassic Park. The Moa, while not a dinosaur, stood up to 3.6 metres tall and weighed around 230 kg, and roamed New Zealand bush until they were wiped out by early human settlers.
New Zealand icon and part-time dinosaur wrangler Sam Neill has reportedly been flown in to assess the situation.
“I’ve heard some shit ideas in my time,” Neill said, cautiously circling a large, humming incubator. “But this feels less like a bold leap into science fiction and more like a very expensive way to recreate a big turkey. I’ve heard that it’ll actually end up being more like genetically engineered Emu.”
Asked what he thought of the moa’s comeback, Neill didn’t hold back.
“Look, I love this country,” he said. “But only in New Zealand would we try to bring back an extinct animal and end up with something that mostly stands around and knocks things over. No disrespect but the Moa is about as useless as the Kiwi.”
Neill was not concerned about there being a repeat of what happened with the original Jurassic Park, saying that if the moa got out of their enclosure then they could quite easily be hunted back into extinction.
More to come.
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