GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture
RESPECT
32 year old vegan Calvin Menzies earned praise this morning when he revealed that not only did his coffee order not contain cow’s milk, it didn’t contain any other kinds of non-dairy milk alternatives either.
Menzies confidently asked for a “large Americano” at Wellington’s Raglan Roast cafe on Tuesday, saying that “if you’re going to cut out animal products, don’t try and have it both ways by having fake animal products.”
He said that he mostly just endured the taste of black coffee, but “the buzz and the relief of that first sip is all that really matters”.
Clearly still in an opinionated mood, the software developer took time to share his explosive world view with both media and innocent bystanders.
“Oat milk is a disgrace and anyone who drinks it is a phony,” he told reporters who were stunned to discover such division within the community.
“Same goes for fake meat. If you want to eat meat so much, just eat it. Stop pretending to be a vegan and stop being a coward.”
Menzies was later accused of not being a “real vegan” himself, as he regularly eats eggs produced by his own chickens. “I’ve got pet chickens that we look after, they lay eggs and we eat them. Plus I never said I was a vegan, I just said oat milk is for cowards.
He then swiftly left the cafe, leaving onlookers with mixed views on his outburst.
Bystander and public servant Aimee Geraldine was left visibly shaken by the display, clutching her oat milk latte and feeling considerably less pleased with herself.
“He can’t just say that to people. What the hell? That is not okay.”
More to come.
