Aucklander Continues To Say Traffic Isn’t That Bad, Despite Reality

driver smiling, while background is Auckland's gridlock traffic.

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture 

“OH IT’S NOT THAT BAD”

Tommy Ridge’s drive from Albany to Manukau should take around 25 minutes.

But today, like many other days this week, he’s on track to make his morning commute nearly an hour and a half worth of stop-start driving. 

Despite the 27 year-old making his way through a maze of cars, bad drivers and the sound of honking horns, he would bizarrely smile to himself while totally engulfed in gridlock traffic. He would later go on to somehow tell himself and others that this “wasn’t that bad”.

With traffic at a standstill, Ridge was able to tell his side of the story.

“Oh it’s not that bad” lied Ridge, who was now likely going to be over an hour late to work for the third time this week.

“I mean yeah sure, we are all stuck in our cars on the Harbour Bridge. But hey, I guess we are all in this together right? The view from up here is mean as!” Ridge pointed out, inching his way along congested roads.

Ridge appeared oddly unperturbed by the fact that he was continuously running late for work and traffic was almost always terrible.

“I mean, it’s kind of like a slow motion dance. Quite nice to actually see everyone else’s faces as we crawl along the bridge togther.”

Ridge then crept off slowly into the sea of cars, still delusional about the reality of how bad Auckland’s traffic is.

More to come. 

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