KIWI VICTORY: Tim Payne Now More Famous Than Australia’s Tim Paine Ever Was
NO PAYNE NO GAIN.
GHOST OF GOLRIZ: Greens Tax Plan Haunted By Urge To Take Things That Don’t Belong To Them
HAUNTED HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES.
Tim Payne Says Instagram Is Irrelevant After Seeing Egypt’s Mo Salah’s Follower Count
DIGITAL UNDERDOGS.
Old Boy At Pub Predictably Disgusted By “Bunch Of Hollywoods” At World Cup
DRAMA QUEENS.
Uni Student Graciously Credits 12.40 AM Pie And V For B-Minus All-Nighter Result
CLUTCH PERFORMANCE.
Weary Hurricanes Fan Heads Into Final Still Scarred by 2015 Defeat
EMOTIONALLY WOUNDED.
“Super Rugby Finals Don’t Run Without Crusaders,” Says One-Eyed Cantab Arriving Early At Cake Tin
SEEING RED.
Local Tradie Estimates Job Will Take ‘Couple Hours’ For Fourth Consecutive Day
FAMOUS LAST WORDS.
Forecast For Wellington’s Super Rugby Final Naturally Includes Rain And Wind
FILL THE TIN.
TOP OF GROUP G: All Whites Credit Eli Just’s Goalscoring And Tim Payne’s Instagram
DOUBLE THREAT.