Local Punter Gears Up for Annual Tradition of Losing Money On Melbourne Cup Day
TOTE TRAUMA.
David Seymour Spooked By Trick Or Treaters Dressed Up As The Capital Gains Tax
FRIGHT NIGHT.
Local Woman Claims The Short Week Feels Just As Long Because You Have To Fit More In
TIME WARP.
All Blacks Travelling To Chicago Hoping They Don’t Expand Global Confusion About Rugby
GRIDIRON GUESSWORK.
Man Spends $2k On Fishing Rods And Gets Nothing But Sunburn And Fish And Chips
DROUGHT ON THE OCEAN.
Man Suddenly Remembers Beer In Freezer Moments After Mysterious Kitchen Explosion
SAID HE WOULDN’T FORGET.
Flexible Working Officially Blamed For The Death Of Friday Office Drinks
GUILTY AS CHARGED.
Te Pāti Māori On The Lookout For New Ways To Destroy Pieces Of Paper They Don’t Like
INNOVATORS.
Hard-Nosed Wellingtonian Describes This Week’s Weather As “Quite Windy Ay”
CAN’T BEAT IT ON A GOOD DAY THOUGH.
Bloke’s Hangover Now Creeping Into Tuesday
SEEN BETTER DAYS.
