DO BETTER: Vatican Once Again Fails To Elect A Pope From New Zealand
GET WITH THE TIMES
Christchurch’s Orana Wildlife Park Inundated With Men Wanting To Fight Their Gorillas
ALPHA MALE MAYHEM
Man Proudly Solves Gym Motivation Issue By Cancelling Membership Entirely
PROBLEM SOLVED.
Private School Girl Concerned Social Media Ban Will Reduce Awareness Of Wanaka Holiday
GONE GIRL.
2ND ON THE TABLE: Cautious Warriors Fan Reminds Friends They’ve Been Hurt Before
DEJA VU
CANTERBURY FLOODS: Private School Girl Forced To Take Family Boat To School
DAD’S ARK.
Winston Peters Seen Captaining Aratere Ferry Through Christchurch
SELWYN’S SAVIOUR
BEFORE I GO: Tory Whanau Promises To Address Zombie Outbreak At Johnsonville Mall
MALL OF THE DEAD.
Local Loser Still Thinks “Open To Work” Banner Makes Him Look ‘Hungry’ Not ‘Hopeless’
GOING NOWHERE.
Public Service Team Meeting Off To A Flyer After Attendees Robotically Recite The Ministry Karakia
SETTING THE TONE.
