Palmerston North Man Confirms That “Actually Palmy Is Pretty Central To Everything”

LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION.
Warriors Fan Will Likely Process First Game Result As Either “Our Year” Or “Early Days”

EARLY ANALYSIS.
Local Woman Claims To Be In Some Kind Of “Era” When Describing Very Minor Things That She Does

PERSONAL REBRAND.
Local Woman Who Said She’d Have One Biscoff Egg Ends Up Polishing Off The Lot

SWEET SHAME.
“We Should Go For A Coffee Sometime” Still The Best Exit Strategy From Small Talk Entrapment

POLITE ESCAPE.
Kiwi Bloke Who “Bleeds Maroon” Will Finally Get To See His Team Live From The Comfort Of Eden Park

QUEENSLANDER.
Local Woman Who Does No Exercise And Only Eats Rubbish Asks Why She Feels “Tired All The Time”

ENERGY MYSTERY.
Lolly Bag Remembered As Greatest Investment Of Childhood Money

SWEET INVESTMENTS
Local Millenial’s Quiz Team Tops the Table After Actually Knowing The Songs From The Music Round

HASHTAG WINNING.
Old Boy At Pub Watching Super Bowl Says Players Are “Too Bloody Soft With Their Pads And Helmets”

COTTON-WOOLED CRYBABIES.