TOP OF GROUP G: All Whites Credit Eli Just’s Goalscoring And Tim Payne’s Instagram
DOUBLE THREAT.
All Whites Push Petrol Prices Even Higher After Draw With Iran
ALL WORTH IT.
Attention-Starved Government Resorts To Forcing Loud Screeching Noise Through Everyone’s Phones
CAN YOU NOT?
Labour Promises Unlimited Free Transport Because At This Stage Who Even Cares
GIVEN UP ON REALITY.
Government Establishes Working Group to Find New Words for “Tax” and “Levy”
BACK ON TRACK.
Unwritten Staff Wellbeing Policy Revealed To Be Necking Piss After Work
CULTURE IS KING.
Convenience Store Worker Heroically Asks No Questions After Seeing The Same Guy For The Fourth Time Today
QUIET PROFESSIONAL.
Man Orders Hazy IPA So He Doesn’t Have To Make Any Other Decisions Tonight
DECISION FATIGUE.
Toddler Plans Medical Emergency, Minor Disaster, To Coincide With Mum And Dads’ Date Nights
I AM YOUR WORLD!
Millennial Skillfully Diverts Mum Away From Launching Into Freshly Downloaded Political Opinion
DANGER NEUTRALISED.