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Local Cop Quite Keen For His Bosses To Not Break The Law And Try To Disgracefully Cover It Up

police officer smiling in front of two corrupt police officers.

GREAT EXPECTATIONS.

Balding Bloke Under Pressure To Shave It All Off Insists He’s “Nowhere Near Being Bald”

balding man in office

HOPE FADING.

Te Pāti Māori Insiders Convinced One More Parliament Haka Will Get Them Back On Track

Te Pati Maori MPs and news headline.

SO CLOSE!

MBIE Bloke Receives “Values Shout Out” For Doing Thing He Said He Would Do In An Email

man at computer desk in open plan office.

OUTSTANDING SERVICE.

Local Punter Gears Up for Annual Tradition of Losing Money On Melbourne Cup Day

Man with horse race behind him and TAB app open on phone.

TOTE TRAUMA.

David Seymour Spooked By Trick Or Treaters Dressed Up As The Capital Gains Tax

David Seymour confronted by trick or treaters dressed as the capital gains tax.

FRIGHT NIGHT.

Local Woman Claims The Short Week Feels Just As Long Because You Have To Fit More In

woman at computer in office.

TIME WARP.

All Blacks Travelling To Chicago Hoping They Don’t Expand Global Confusion About Rugby

American man looking confused about the all blacks.

GRIDIRON GUESSWORK.

Man Spends $2k On Fishing Rods And  Gets Nothing But Sunburn And Fish And Chips

man fishing and thinking about fish and chips.

DROUGHT ON THE OCEAN.

Man Suddenly Remembers Beer In Freezer Moments After Mysterious Kitchen Explosion

man facepalming after exploding beer in freezer.

SAID HE WOULDN’T FORGET.

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DISCLAIMER: NZ satire and NZ comedy have a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news meme website, which means the stories and memes are made up for comedic effect.