Chiefs Fan Cheers Up By Reminding Himself He’s Not In Iran

CRUSADE ON.
Local Man Colonises Matariki Into Yet Another Long Weekend Of Piss Drinking

GROSSLY PROBLEMATIC.
Bloke Still Bringing Up High School Sporting Career At Every Party Like It’s Relevant

FADED FAME.
TAB Scraps Crusaders Win Option For Home Playoff Final, Cites “Pre-Determined Result”

FOREGONE CONCLUSION.
Kiwi Bloke Reckons He “Bleeds Maroon” Despite Never Setting Foot in Queensland

KIWISLANDER.
Uni Student Getting Straight A’s Despite Sub-Optimal Diet Of Mostly Two Minute Noodles

NOODLE KNOWLEDGE.
Crusaders Fans Gutted About Extra Game Before Trophy Lift

CROWN THE KINGS NOW
Bloke Insists Paintball Was ‘Just a Bit of Fun’ Despite Being Covered In Painful Welts

BRUISED EGO.
Smug Millennial Asks Office Jocks If They’re Looking Forward To The Big Sportsball Game Tonight

SUBTLE TROLLING.
Crusaders Fan In Fear Of Blues Upset And Inevitable Rieko Instagram Post

RIEKO’S RIDDLE.