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Chiefs Fan Cheers Up By Reminding Himself He’s Not In Iran

chiefs fan thinking about iran while crusaders celebrate

CRUSADE ON.

Local Man Colonises Matariki Into Yet Another Long Weekend Of Piss Drinking

man drinking beer with starry sky behind him

GROSSLY PROBLEMATIC.

Bloke Still Bringing Up High School Sporting Career At Every Party Like It’s Relevant

Man thinking about high school rugby while talking to people at party.

FADED FAME.

TAB Scraps Crusaders Win Option For Home Playoff Final, Cites “Pre-Determined Result”

TAB guy scrapping odds for crusaders win

FOREGONE CONCLUSION.

Kiwi Bloke Reckons He “Bleeds Maroon” Despite Never Setting Foot in Queensland

man getting excited for origin

KIWISLANDER.

Uni Student Getting Straight A’s Despite Sub-Optimal Diet Of Mostly Two Minute Noodles

woman reading book thinking about two minute noodles

NOODLE KNOWLEDGE.

Crusaders Fans Gutted About Extra Game Before Trophy Lift

crusaders fans at game wearing black puffer jackets and beanies

CROWN THE KINGS NOW

Bloke Insists Paintball Was ‘Just a Bit of Fun’ Despite Being Covered In Painful Welts

man thinking about his paintball welts

BRUISED EGO.

Smug Millennial Asks Office Jocks If They’re Looking Forward To The Big Sportsball Game Tonight

hipster girl with pink hair thinking about super rugby semifinal

SUBTLE TROLLING.

Crusaders Fan In Fear Of Blues Upset And Inevitable Rieko Instagram Post

crusaders fan worrying about confident Rieko Ioane on instagram.

RIEKO’S RIDDLE.

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DISCLAIMER: NZ satire and NZ comedy have a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news meme website, which means the stories and memes are made up for comedic effect.