Bloke Who’s ‘Snowed Under With Work’’ Somehow Finds Six Hours A Week To Fine-Tune Fantasy Rugby Side
TIME WIZARD.
Despite repeatedly telling friends he’s “snowed under with work”, 31-year-old Christchurch financial adviser Matt Peters has somehow managed to carve out six hours a week to tinker with his Super Rugby Pacific fantasy team.
Swarbrick Cops It At Green Party Fines Session After Forgetting To Wash The Team Kit
OOH THAT’S A BIG ONE.
Green Party co-leader Chloe Swarbrick absolutely copped it at the fines session today, after forgetting it was her turn to wash the dirty keffiyehs for the team.
Business Confidence Improves But Confidence In Betting On The Warriors Remains Steadily Low
UP THE WAHS.
While some financial analysts and everyday New Zealanders are eager to praise today’s Reserve Bank OCR cut, there’s an undeniable sentiment on the streets.
Woman Who Drinks Multiple Energy Drinks, Coffee, Unsure Why She’s Continually Crashing At End Of The Day
BAFFLING.
Despite consuming a daily cocktail of sugar, caffeine, and artificial stimulants, 29-year-old Hamilton woman Stacey Duff remains completely baffled as to why she feels like she’s been hit by a truck by 5:30 p.m.
Slogan To Attract Australian Tourists Changed To “Everyone Must Go Except For You David Warner”
NOT ALL AUSSIES.
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has made a last minute change to the country’s latest advertising campaign to attract more Australian holiday makers to our shores.
Parliamentary Service Lad Remains Tight-Lipped About Which MPs Are Dickheads In Real Life
NOT WHO YOU’D EXPECT.
25-year-old James* (who, for reasons of his own, only goes by “James”) works as an advisor in our nation’s parliament. James recently shared with friends that he’s spent the last two years accumulating top-secret intel on the MPs he works with.
Bloke Who Plays Golf Every Weekend Somehow Getting Worse
HITS MORE TREES THAN FAIRWAYS.
Angus Thorpe, 28, has once again had a day filled with a mix of anger, disbelief, and general confusion.
CAR POOL CONUNDRUM: Seymour Arrives To Pick Up Chippy For Work In The Land Rover
“UNSUITABLE BEHAVIOUR!”
Chris “Chippy” Hipkins’ blood pressure reached new heights this morning. That’s because his parliament carpool buddy David Seymour arrived at his house in the same old land rover he’d tried to drive up the parliament steps earlier this week.
HAPPY VALENTINE’S: One Eyed Cantab Finalises Divorce Papers To Focus On More Important Relationship
LOVE AND LOYALTY.
Craig Chamberlain, 59 from Shirley, Christchurch, is now free to fully focus on his beloved Crusaders after finalising his divorce from his now ex-wife Diane.
Couple’s Relationship Tested By Very Minor Home DIY Project
RELATIONSHIP REBUILD.
New homeowners Sarah Wiseman and Luke Rusbatch, both 29, have recently embarked on a brave journey into the world of DIY home renovations.
