Annual Leave Maximiser Strikes Again: Local Man Books 10-Day Break with Just Three Days Leave

NO BRAINER
Wellington Shoppers Rewarded With Gift Vouchers For Setting Foot In Johnsonville Mall

CONSUMER SACRIFICE.
Air NZ Unveils New Uniforms But Still No Revamp For Kia Ora Magazine

TOO MUCH TO ASK.
UNPRECEDENTED COMPETENCE: Interislander Completes Round Trip Without Deploying Distress Flare

MIRACLE ON THE STRAIT.
Tamatha Paul Has Bike Stolen, Asks Thief To Return It When They Feel Emotionally Ready

NO RUSH.
Bloke Out For A Craft Beer Suddenly Has Grand Idea To Start His Own Home Brew

ORIGINAL THINKING.
Shirtless Jogger Impresses Nobody During Run

WE GET IT, YOU’RE FIT.
Chlöe Confronts Reality That If Golriz And Darleen Had Obeyed The Law Then She Wouldn’t Be Stuck With Old Bussy Boy

WHO’S NEXT ON THE LIST?
Local Lesbian Keen To Not Be Lumped In With Old Bussy Boy

SEPARATE RAINBOWS.
Chloe Now Wishing Benjamin Doyle Was Just A Run Of The Mill Shoplifter

SIMPLER TIMES.