Jake The Muss Keen To Give Women’s Boxing A Go
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Sport NO JAKE! Jake “The Muss” Heke, well known for his violence against women, believes he has a real chance at Olympic women’s boxing in 2028. The ‘Once Were Warriors’ star made the announcement after seeing a controversial fight between Italian boxer Angela Carini and Algerian Imane Khelif. Carini quit the match […]
Passing Mention Of Rugby Sevens Sends Woman Back To Being Drunk In Wellington Wearing A Toga
GLORY DAYS.
For Tara Peattie, the mere mention of the women’s rugby sevens team clinching gold against Canada at the Paris Olympics was enough to send her spiralling into a haze of nostalgia.
Local Man Wishes He Had Arms Like Lisa Carrington
GUN SHOW.
34-year-old Mike Flanders has always had an admiration for Olympic canoeist Lisa Carrington’s muscular arms.
Local Man Says The Olympics Haven’t been The Same Since They Ditched Tug Of War
GLORY DAYS.
Tim Dyson sat slumped on his lazy boy watching the Paris Olympics in frustration this afternoon.
Local Dad Foolishly Assumes The Olympics Would Be Family Friendly
HA, SORRY GUYS.
Mark Davidson, a Wairarapa father of two young boys, made an obvious error this morning as he was enjoying some family time in his modest living room.
OLYMPIC PREVIEW: Local Woman Announces That She’s “Looking Forward To The Gymnastics”
SHOCKER.
Wellington woman Julia Jennings, 33, shocked her immediate family members this morning when she announced her viewing intentions for this year’s Paris Olympic Games.
Football Ferns Spotted At Training Heading Drones Out Of The Air
AERIAL ASSAULT.
The New Zealand women’s football team have been spotted training for a very likely scenario in their opening Olympic Games match against Canada in a few hours.
Football Ferns Actually Just Stoked Another Team’s Spying On Them
MEDAL OF HONOUR.
The New Zealand women’s football team have found themselves in an unexpected spotlight at the Paris Olympics, after Canada were caught flying a drone over their training session.
REPORT: Sitting At The Back Of Parliament Doing Nothing Is More Lucrative Than Running A Bike Shop
BRINGING HOME THE BACON.
With Darleen Tana’s husband’s bike shop going out of business, the former Green MP is glad she has something safe and reliable to fall back on.
Biden Shocked To Find Out That He’s Pulled Out Of The Presidential Election
WHA? COME ON, MAN!
President Joe Biden got a hell of a fright when he woke up from his nap this afternoon.
