“It’s Not About Catching Fish,” Lies Bloke Who Hasn’t Caught Anything In Six Years
DROUGHT ON THE OCEAN.
Billy Williams, 33, once again came back from a fishing trip without any actual fish.
Pak n Save Shopper Uses Shopping Basket Instead Of Own Bag So She Doesn’t Look Like She’s Stealing
KEEPING UP APPEARANCES.
A 40 year old woman from central Auckland turned heads today, as she opted for a shopping basket to carry her groceries as she selected them at Royal Oak Pak n Save.
BLACK CLASH BACKLASH: Millennial Calls For More Young People To Start Being Annoyed By The ACC Commentary
URGH SPORTSBALL.
With the Rugby vs Cricket T20 match just around the corner, social activist Ruby Galbraith is calling on people within her echo chamber to get annoyed about it.
“Pak n Save Keeps Prices Low But You Still Have To Pay Them!” Says Stickman To Golriz
EXTRA LOW DEALS.
Stickman, the national spokesman for Pak n Save, has said “enough is enough” after news broke that non-MP Golriz Ghahraman is now being investigated for shoplifting at their Royal Oak supermarket.
Cat Owner Who Got Scratched Suspects Cat To Be Far Right Extremist
NOTHING ELSE EXPLAINS THIS BEHAVIOUR.
A 9-year-old British Shorthair was found guilty today of scratching his owner’s arm, in an incident which is being treated as an instance of far-right terrorism.
Man Working From Home Has Serenity Derailed By Neighbour’s Relentless Two Hour Leaf Blowing Session
NOISE POLLUTION.
Dave Wilkes, 32, a public servant working for the Department of Conservation in Wellington, had high hopes for a productive day working from home.
Friend Accused Of Faking Run As No Strava Post Was Made to Back Up Claim
“SO YOU JUST RAN? FOR NO ONE TO SEE?”
24-year-old Kelly Hayes found herself accused of some sort of social crime today.
Johnsonville Mall Selected As Filming Location For New Post-Apocalyptic Thriller
AUTHENTICITY.
Hollywood film producers have just revealed the highly anticipated location for the upcoming apocalyptic blockbuster Desolate Earth.
“How Is It Not The Weekend Yet?” Asks Woman 10 Minutes Into Her First Day Back At Work For 2025
THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.
Laura Ainsley, 27, of Christchurch, has already reached her breaking point—ten minutes into her first day back at work after a blissful three-week break.
Girlfriend Enters Foul Mood Phase After Boyfriend Has Unacceptable Amount Of Fun With Mates On Night Out
FURY QUEEN.
Sarah Prescott is one woman to be avoided today.
The 29-year-old Aucklander is in a deeply foul mood because her boyfriend Shaun Ellis, 30, went out and enjoyed himself with friends, while she remained at home.
