“DO BETTER”: Still No Ukraine Or Palestine Lanyards For Wellington Public Servants
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Local THE RIGHT THING TO DO The overwhelming message coming from the Public Service Association today is “do better”, as it was revealed that there are currently no lanyards available to public servants to support Ukraine or Palestine. As it stands, government employees in Wellington are able to pledge allegiance to the […]
Local Bloke Can’t Justify Spending $60 on Groceries, But Happily Spends $120 on Friday Night Piss-Up
BOY MATH.
Daniel McCafferty has once again demonstrated his world-class financial priorities.
The 31 year-old recently balked at a $60 grocery bill before promptly forking out double that amount on a Friday night session with the boys.
“I Prefer Marmite Over Vegemite”: One Issue The Prime Minister Isn’t On The Fence About
STRONG STANCE.
In a rare moment of decisiveness, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has put a stake in the ground over a hotly debated issue: Marmite vs Vegemite.
School Principals Slam Prime Minister For Suggesting Parents Make Marmite Sandwiches And Not Vegemite Ones
OUT OF TOUCH.
Teachers and principals took a break from sending photos of squashed school lunches to Stuff today, instead turning their attention to Prime Minister Christopher Luxon.
Desolate Earth Wins ‘Best Set Design’ For Post Apocalyptic Wasteland At Johnsonville Mall
GLIMMERING RUINS.
Wellington’s Johnsonville Mall has been rewarded at the Oscars this year for being hauntingly similar to a society in collapse.
Luxon Hopeful His Fresh New Volodymyr Zelenskyy Tattoo Will Impress New Zealand Voters
ISSUES THAT MATTER.
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon is quietly confident that he’s finally tapped into what matters most for New Zealand voters – Ukraine.
Christchurch Bloke Reckons He’s Pretty Open To New People, As Long As They’re From Christchurch
CRUSADE ON.
29-year-old Tim Riley has made it clear that he’s “pretty open” to meeting new folks in Christchurch.
Confused Checkout Operator Spends Three Minutes Asking Luxon If He’d Like His Receipt Or Not
YES OR NO.
Chloe Jamieson, a 21 year old checkout operator at New World Botany, was left physically and emotionally drained this morning, after what should have been a very brief interaction with Prime Minister Christopher Luxon.
Barber Once Again Tasked With Fixing Girlfriend’s DIY Job On Boyfriend
LEAVE IT TO THE PROS.
The team at 1855 Barbers in Prebbleton Christchurch have once again proved why some jobs should be left to the professionals. Against all odds they were able to salvage what can only be described as an ambitious but ultimately tragic DIY haircut that local woman Emma Carter inflicted on her boyfriend Jake.
Wellington City Council Reveals Plans For Much-Needed Second Bucket Fountain
FINALLY!
After years of Wellingtonians complaining about failing infrastructure in the CBD, Wellington City Council has at last listened to ratepayers.
