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One eyed cantabrian in front of the Team Rugby T20 team.

BLACK CLASH BACKLASH: One Eyed Cantab Calling For Team Rugby To Be Completely Replaced With Current Crusaders Players

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Doctor standing in front of alternative commentary collective.

Cardiologist Predicts Spike In Blood Pressure In Over 65s During Alternative Cricket Commentary

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Dave Rennie and Wallabies looking dejected.

CLEARLY NOT IN NEW ZEALAND: Rugby Coach Sacked Due To Team Underperforming

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Cricketer Chris Harris in front of Prince Harry Books.

Disappointment As Newly Released Book Is Not About The Real Prince Harry

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Man celebrating after bowling out his young son in backyard cricket.

Local Dad Rolls Back The Years With Sensational BYC Hat Trick Against His Hapless Children

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batsman getting cleaned up with brand new kookaburra bat in foreground.

Third Grade Cricketer Blows $600 On A New Bat In The Hope That It’ll Turn His Form Around

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man proudly pointing at indoor sports medal.

Local Bloke Proudly Displays Div 4 Indoor Sport Medal Like He’s Some Sort Of Elite Athlete

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man with belgium flag face paint standing awkwardly with fire in the background

Football Fan Quietly Accepts His Country’s Loss Without Rioting In The Streets

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mum annoyed by backyard cricket

Mum Who Doesn’t Understand BYC Holds False Belief That Her Kids Can Just “Do That At The Park”

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man in pain thinking about all blacks

Man Goes Walking Alone, Contemplating How We Blew That Lead

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DISCLAIMER: NZ satire has a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news website, which means the stories are made up for comedic effect.