GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics
DETENTION
There were dramatic scenes at Parliament today after Green Party co-leader Chlöe Swarbrick was told to pack up her desk and work outside for the rest of the week.
The incident began when Swarbrick, clearly bored with whatever was on the board, interrupted to accuse Government MPs of being “spineless.” This prompted Speaker Gerry Brownlee to sigh deeply, remove his glasses, and tell her to apologise.
She didn’t.
Witnesses say Brownlee, already worn down by years of disruptions, had reached his limit. “Right, that’s it. Desk outside. Now,” he was heard saying in the tone of a Year 10 maths teacher who had already had to break up three fights this morning.
Swarbrick dragged her desk to the top of the Parliament steps, muttering about human rights and refusing to make eye contact. Once outside, she immediately resumed her speech on Israel, despite there being no one to hear it except a confused tour group and a couple of pigeons.
“There’s always one kid in the class who thinks she’s making some kind of a stand,” said one Government MP, who likened the episode to a kid turning their chair backwards to “make a point.” “She’ll grow out of it.”
Brownlee told reporters that Swarbrick could rejoin her peers if she apologised for her comments. “But we all know that’s not happening,” he added, glancing at the clock like a teacher counting down the minutes until the bell.
Inside the debating chamber, the mood quickly returned to normal. Outside, Swarbrick sat at her desk, scribbling notes and occasionally shouting her views toward the closed doors, believing there were people listening.
With the country in the middle of a cold snap, the MP has been advised to wrap up warm with one or two extra keffiyehs.
More to come.
